Who would you be without the people who are closest to you?
Your partner, your kids, your best friend…
The intimacy of a person whom you are close to can have many facets.
They can point out your glories and your weaknesses
Friends are our mirrors, metaphorically speaking…
They know you – or they seem to know you -!
Are you open to seeing and accepting what they give to you?
Let’s take a closer look:
A while ago, I was driving together with a close friend in the car.
She spoke about a lady whom we both know and her idiosyncrasies.
Listening to her, it came to me:
“Hell, she sounds like me!!!”
We cracked up in laughter as we both realized the wicked personality traits we shared.
It was a moment of mirroring and sudden honest and humorous self-reflection.
My son and I played a game of describing a person -and we chose the same close friend.
My friend was delighted about the person that was being described
– but she did not recognize that it was herself!
Isn’t that odd?
Self-awareness is only possible if you are willing and able to see.
Often enough we are too blind to see the obvious, especially when it is close.
You might like or not like what you see!
In both cases, friends or people that you are close with can be your mirror.
Are you open to looking into the mirror – held up by a close friend?
Can you accept appreciation easily?
Can you face and accept your defaults?
What are the benefits?
Honest and compassionate feedback in a close relationship is like water for a plant to grow!
Expressing what you truly appreciate and love about a friend is nurturing and bonding.
Saying what bothers you in a clear and loving way is healthy and constructive.
What are the traps?
Especially with “old” friends or family, it can happen that:
You look through the lens of past dynamics or get stuck in a role
You take someone for granted.
You are so used to each other that you forget to appreciate it! for example…
Be careful not to project from the past or to interpret.
Look at what actually is happening in the present moment!
Respect the history of your family and be aware that you are not the history.
History is in the past and identity is just like a hat:
it’s not who you are in essence!
Last but not least:
Choose the moment wisely – if you can!
Spice it with some humor.
Wishing you a wonderful time with your loved ones!