Note: this article stems from the Corona period.-)
What do you feel when you hear:
“Marriage is an endless sleep over with your favorite weirdo”.
It’s a slogan that made my head turn as I biked along the street, passing a bed-shop in the city.
I don’t know if you are married – I have never been in my life – so far!
You never know what might happen…
But I know very well how to maintain long-lasting friendships and how to navigate through a period of difficulty, I don’t shy away from facing fruitful confrontation and staying with what IS… be it nice or not
The Corona quarantine we are in now already for… how many weeks? – has been an opportunity to take a close look at our behavior patterns –. to be limited in the spaces we can move in serves as a magnifying lens for these patterns:
The nice ones and especially the odd ones!
The odd ones, the moments of being uncomfortable or being in conflict are actually the jewel moments – even though it might totally not feel that way when you are in it!
Have you experienced that you are more irritable?
Maybe this period is like a present where you can relax and recharge.
The small moments are the important ones
- when you burst out in irritation
- when you say something you might later regret
- when you ignore someone or turn your eyes away… a crucial moment of being with a partner, a friend, your spouse, life partner or a colleague.
Why are these the “jewel”-moments?
The trigger moments are the ones where you can either shoot in your pattern -be reactive – or pause…breathe… and look at what’s happening.
Notice if you can at that moment choose something different. Maybe… maybe not – yet!
Meditation and yin-yoga bring us into a state of quietness to observe the activity of the mind, our thoughts, and also our emotions.
It’s the playground to “make love” to everything that is- and with making love I mean in this case to embrace all that is: be it nice, be it uncomfortable, be it irritating, be it bliss, or whatever feeling is there….and then when you step off the mat or the cushion and find yourself in trigger moments to see them as what they are:
The crucial moments of conflict or weirdness are opportunities: to dig deeper into the connection
with ourselves and through that with our loved ones, our friends, and also the people we work with.
Now coming back to the first statement:
“Marriage is an endless sleepover with your favorite weirdo”.
It’s an invitation and commitment to stay present.
And “peel the onion” of habitual patterns with each other, metaphorically speaking!
Often there are many layers at play and it requires patience, willingness and self-knowledge to peel…
You’ll feel: when you dig into the source of what triggered you and come to the underlying emotion, it’s like a knot that can be untied…and then make room for a fresh and clear view, so you can
- genuinely smile
- apologize from your heart
- express your love and care in a gesture
It’s crucial to create space, a margin. It’s often impossible when being triggered to respond differently.
Still: let’s it sit, sink, digest …give it time- and come back on it!
So you and your loved ones feel nourished:
True connection is like the water that makes the plant of togetherness grow!
Stay healthy and connected